Post by ' ' K.O.T.O.R.I. on Aug 17, 2009 23:24:02 GMT -5
Perhaps he was in pain, or perhaps he had been so numbed by it all he did not feel a thing; withdrawing deeply into himself, there was a strangeness in his stance, a hollowness that seemed to ring to his very core and keep going as if there was no center to him. No nothing -- just a corpse of flesh, of bones, of blood that kept it alive, and moving but wasn't alive at all. It was an illusion, a death note to those who saw and those who spoke. Did he hear her? Who knows -- only that his eye weighed her, measured her and found much to his surprise that he could not answer her. He did not want to answer her, for it meant he cared and in this he would not care.
He would walk away, he would move -- but his body remained as if nailed down to the floor and he could not seem to make his muscles work. Kotori lifted his muzzle, stillness in his body though he seemed to be moving. Energy usually dwelt in the creases there, but now, at this moment he was crushed under the weight of his own expectations. She had wanted to die -- he had thought ... was it so wrong for him to feel so used? So abused? And yet, wasn't it all his own fault? He had opened himself up to it after all.
so he didn't say anything when otherwise he might have taunted her, strung out the moment to see the pain reflected in her eyes, piercing him like needles. Instead like stone, like the coldness that seeps into your bones in the deadness of night he remained in silence, tail ticking once at the end as if half-heartedly trying to recapture himself. Or perhaps, and more disturbing this: perhaps it beat in tune with his heart still, and it no longer beat but remained as still within his chest as his mind remained in silence in his skull.
His gaze felt raw where it slid over her body, lingering on the invisible curve of her belly where he knew she would breed. Olya had never been able to, but Andarial was young and vibrant and while she may doubt, he did not. Not in this, at least. So he turned his head from her and twisted away from that seeking, trusting gaze, knowing it for false, as dark and untrustworthy as his own heart. "Love them then, and be done with it." and his shoulders eased forward, a strange listlessness as if he were nothing but a phantom walking silently over the ground, retracing the steps of the morning and disappearing from the brush. He didn't look back. Not once.
And his tail, slowly, inevitably, stopped ticking.
The silence in his head was profound, and nothing could penetrate it, not even the wind which whipped through the trees and rattled their branches, which cut through his fur and sought to chill him to the bone. He was hollow -- whatever flowed in, invariably flowed outward and outward and outward. Untouched, untamed, but there was a weight to him as he followed the line of his path, circling steeper and steeper up into the mountainous crags, following paths rarely followed until breath was so short it was almost a wheeze through his lips. So high up on the mountainous peak he could see far, but he did not look and instead curled up among the rockly cliffs and dangerous precipices and slept, his breath coming hard with the air so thin.
He did not dream.
word count;; 606
tags;; Andee
OOC;; aw.
-- END --