Haunted (Kotori)

[Andarial]

She hadn't movedsince that fateful night. Hadn't eaten. She just lay there staring into the pool of the Oasis. Nothing had ventured toward this oasis all day because of her. She knew something horrible would happen to her. Something more horrible than what already happened. Unknowingly though Andarial had become pregnant and that was not so horrible in her mind. His seed had caught in her womb and already was starting to develop. Right now she was too depressed to even care even if she had known.

Andee had been raped the very night before. Raped by that damned jaguar. She showed terrible wounds from that night. Long claw marks down her sides, deep furrows on her shoulders and a shallow bite mark on her scruff. Her white fur was stained crimson by all the blood she had lost. She wasn't in any hurry to move though and have someone lick her wounds. Right now the only reason she moved was because she needed a drink.

Her mind kept forcing her to relive that horiffying experience over and over again, everytime she closed her eyes. She blinked her golden eyes, which were usually bright were now dull and sheenless. Her belly growled, used to eating on a regular basis now it was demanding food, and yet she just ignored it. She was so tired. But was so afraid to close her eyes because she knew she would see his face again. She wanted to reclaw that face and kill him. She wanted to diembowel him. But now she could only hope to never see him again. She longed to see Kotori again. But was embarassed and somewhat afraid too. She was afraid of being near any male now. She knew eventually she'd get over it, somewhere deep inside her, but right now she felt like she never would.

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

He lifted his gaze, the orange fire therein reflecting the sun's light with a vicious glee that had not yet been sated. So close, so close and the desire plundered him, wrecked him with the disastrous wants that had led him on this delightfully merry chase. Death had followed at his heels, in the curve of his claws, in the teasing, playful snarls that rumbled in his victim's ear when they could do nothing but whimper so pitifully, so dreadfully. Anger had come then, a dissatisfaction that had rendered him brutal, crueler than was his usual wont. He drew it out, you know he did, holding the creature down as leg broke, then the next, watching with misery as the snow leopard circled, circled, evaded sharp teeth and snarling howls that reached up, defied then begged, oh how it had given up after a few hours and simply begged, begged like the bitch she was for help, for mercy, for anything that wouldn't make his face the last she saw in the world.

Her musk still saturated the air, her blood potent and lingering in the corners of his nostrils, redness along his paws, his lips, a claw that had gotten his side -- but he had delighted in it and didn't think of it as anything but a loving touch, a caress of passion, of heat that split his head in two and made him purr like a kitten. So he was when the sun rose, prick sated, shrunk to nothingness in it's sheath, cheek resting on broken, dead flank. Such a sight! Such a sight! Which would you like to know of first? The creature? Are you dying to know the howler? The nameless female which he had found so early in the morning, before the sun, when the moon was just starting to fade from the sky, from her throne? She had urged him on with her coldness, with the blissful start of spring, of change, and he had taken her, had followed her with his glowing orange eye, had followed and taunted as she snarled and fought against him -- first with arrogance, with threat and then with desperation, running herself ragged while he followed, leisurely, always finding, always following, his nose leading his prick, his desire to slosh around his ears and drown out the sound of his heart thickly pounding in his chest.

Sex matted his fur, blood hanging around him, tasting metallic and perfect on his tongue. Do you want to know? Do you want to see the way she had been injured, his jaws cracking through flesh, through bone and taking one leg, then the next? Until she couldn't run anymore, no, no more running and he had chuckled as she h ad snarled, triangular canine ears flat against her head, blue eyes ablaze, white fur muddied by the slush that spring had made of winter. But like winter, Kotori wasn't ready to melt, and held onto the rigidness, his body riding her hard, broken, violating the precepts of nature, of right and wrong. Canine and cat? What could have gotten into him? This madness had made him seek her out, that awful stench of heat which had hooked him in the nose and pulled him along, along, along until he found himself plundering her, hard, hot, rocking her as she writhed and cried and howled, her jaws managing to snag his arm and gnawing on it, biting through it, but he was on a high and the pain only stimulated him, made him want. Harder, fiercer, his fangs had pierced her neck, dislodged her fangs from his body as she submitted to unconsciousness until the final throw where she had woken and died, died as he finished, climaxed, dominated, her own spine cracking beneath his might. His power. His want.

Canine. How cunning to seek her out -- to know that she would have been curious and young. Not young enough to truly satiate him, but a yearling, just stumbling around, drunk with the power of youth and stupid with it; he smiled where he was lying against her white, bloodied coat, lazily, eyes heavy-lidded as the sun filtered through the leaves of the forest, caressed his white and red fur, his muddy, brutal fur where cuts of delight scraped him deep but not deep enough. She was dead now, broken the moment he had released, but do not mistake him; the flank on which he was pillowing himself was hollowed out, scraps of fur clinging onto open, broken ribs, heart plundered, eaten, liver gone; intestines tangled about his back legs where he had rolled around in her death, had played with it as a kitten plays with a string, eyes vibrant with youth, amused so easily by something so simple.

Death had followed at his heels and it had drunk deep of its favored meal; the crows had come, but seeing the creature rolling around in blood, guts and fur had kept them back, for one of their kind already lay splattered on the edges when it had come within striking distance of the cat; claws flexed where Kotori was sprawled, black feathers wet with blood. Yawning enough to flash red fangs, Kotori shivered, a delicious tingle of temporary satisfaction, round ears flicked back against his skull, claws fully extended as body stretched, rolled off of the eaten, stiffening corpse. Cold now, and he had never been a fan of cold food.

Howls then, chaos as their voices grew frantic, seeking the answer they would never hear again; laughter, sickening delight that sparked the sun's light from within the fire of his eye and he with the burning eye rose as silent as the grave and disappeared between parting bracken, parting trees and slipped onto the territory that his darling little fire had claimed.

But Kotori was meticulous by nature of his breed and the stickiness of his coat was starting to itch, to mat where he did not wish it to mat, so he moved over the land with purpose, his ears flicked down, his eyes lazy with pleasure, with indulged perfection as muscles writhed beneath his shifting fur -- and he moved, and then again to run, feeling the wind touching his face, seizing control of the endorphins which had first urged him on. Morning had come while he had lingered and now it was full in the sky and the wind smelled of --- Andee. He didn't even pause, but smiled, a wicked thing full of promises and even gratitude. The nameless Gods of the sky were looking down on him this day. First the morning treat and now her, to taunt, to bring forth the fire cat he knew was under her skin.

Yet as he drew nearer, he knew there was something wrong -- too many scents, too many shifting winds as spring made everything moist with humidity, but one thing was the same: the smell of rot could not hide the stench of male, of the cat, the nameless one. Dull coin-colored eyes. Rough voice, saturated with oil. Curiosity came first, surprises of surprises, but then again, Kotori was drunk on his own dalliances and anything was more interesting than simply napping off this delightful feeling -- but soon the stench of mating caught his nostrils and they flared, eyes burning, darkening, turning nastier, crueler - brutal in their regard so that when he did crest the hill and she sprawled out in his view there was stony silence which heralded his presence, which made him stare, knowing without needing to truly know.

She had failed him, and now moped in defeat. "So." he rumbled, his voice thick with otherness, a strange distance in his eyes as if he was looking at something only mildly unpleasant, and it was interesting. He moved down, forgetting that his fur was blood matted, that he was covered with semen, blood, mud and other, stranger bodily fluids. It didn't matter, now. Coming to the very edges of the waters, he stared at her, tail ticking at the end with annoyance. Muscles coiled, and tightened, looking like violence contained by sheer force of will. Nostrils flared, ears flicked down, and his one eye slid to the side to where it had happened, to where he imagined it had happened.

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word count;; 1392
tags;; Andee
OOC;; .__. he's going
to be mean, just so you know.

[/size]

[Andarial]

She heard his padding and smelled his scent before she heard his voice. Still she did not move. No Andarial did not move until he came too close and said that word so cold. She moved as fast as she could upwards, which was quite slow, and flung herself away from him. Terrible gasps of pain and terror left her muzzle as she scrambled away from her love and she stared at him with, what must have been the first time she had ever she stared at anything, fear in her dull golden eyes. All she saw within the great brute was more pain and rape. Then again she saw the cat she had almost fallen in love with disappointed with her, more pain.

She looked at him with just a flicker of her old flame in his eyes as she said, "So what?!"

But soon the fir died and she was once again a dead leopard, soulless, merely a puppet who was covered in her own blood. If perhaps she hadn't been so thin that night perhaps she would have been able to save her virginity. Perhaps if she hadn't been so weak she would have been able to fight him off. But she had been too caring of her pack and as she thought about it she would rather have been more caring and sacrifice her virginity than be some jerk and ignore her pack.

Still anger over the whole situation she had been put in was enough to strike down the very jaguar where he stood. If she controlled the weather that was. She hated him so deeply she knew he would forever ride with her, because the hate had been imprinted in her bones. If she had any say in it she would kill that jaguar.

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

Tick-tock -- and the clock goes on and on, an invisible time-table that brings you closer and closer to your own demise. Every breath, every smile, every motion of your body draws you closer, makes you brighter, a strength that shines so that only Death can smile, so that Death can only find itself in love with you for you are mortal and it is a precious thing indeed for Death to clasp between it's slimy, cold fingers. It's fingers slide through fur, through hair, trap a dove's heart between his palms and whispers to the soul, coaxing it to life when it would otherwise burn itself out. Whisper, whisper, and it smiles, and smiles, bony grin with a wretched snake's tongue.

Why urge you on? Death is so much sweeter when you fight, when you struggle against the last breath that shudders from your throat, from your chest. There is pride in it, a thing which is as important as the living memories which defined you. Pride in life, in yourself. It is meaning, and without meaning, there is nothing left of the dead but the temporary garbage of waste and carcass, until even that fades into anonymity. So it is with Kotori, and so it will always be. One person falls so another may step on their back and go higher, faster, breathing stronger, living longer. But who would have thought it would have been her which had been lain so low? Who would have thought that in this life he would have seen her demise, so easily snatched from him, taken by him because she was weak; pathetic female with a voice so rough.

He didn't snicker, or mock her. No, there was no need for it. Her own deeds were mocking enough -- he could see it flying across her face, the way she saw herself reflected in his one burning eye, in the stillness with which he was regarding her. Yes, yes, he knew she knew. What a disappointment. What a failure. She was nothing to him now but a creature to be dispatched. But to kill her? Would he be able to? Oh, you foolish readers! You think he has fallen under the softness of her gaze? You think her weakness makes him feel mercy for her? Oh, sad, so sad to think he had fallen as low as she. No.

There was no emotion that moved him, just that utter vastness which expanded and expanded outward seeming to grip her in it's hold. He was disappointed. So disappointed in her, for she was a creature who's fire had been as bright as his own, but where he would never have submitted, would have rather died than to be so mortified, she had given in. Weak. Female. But it was not always so. No, he knew that not all females were weak and her hatred was nothing to him now. Her loathing, her threats -- where he had hoped that maybe one day she would defeat him, now he knew himself victorious over her in all circumstances... and it was not thrilling. Like a cup of milk spilled across the floor, it no longer held the same appeal, and she was much like that milk, that craving that had once ignited his veins and left him wanting with a fierce cotton-mouth. Now, she was nothing. He was nothing. The lust was dust, ashes of what might have been. She had burned too brightly and was snuffed out and did not know how to get back up.

Would he? Should he? Thoughts swirled around his head -- swirled with his tail, in time with his heart as she jerked back from him, cowered from him as she had once done in his dreams. Yet there was no pleasure in it, only that vast disappointment that pooled further outward, soaking into his body, into his mind, turning his gaze from her as his ears flicked back. So strangled her voice seemed as she demanded of him, or tried to. For shame, Kotori! Have some compassion!

There was no compassion in his heart, nothing in the way he looked at her but for a muffled, once-interest in which his eyes lingered on her broken fur. No regret, for she was just a female. Dead, dead, they all died, all failed and he had been searching for the perfect victim. One he would hold the heart to, the greater prize, but who would have ever thought that the degradation of her body would consume the heart? He did not look at her as the fear consumed her face, did not even care but walked over with deliberate, slow steps toward the area in which he saw the claws, the feet, the bodies pushing against the earth. He could picture it in his head and it was a strange nothingness which filled him.

What was there to feel when what he was attracted to, had been taken. No, not taken. Tested. "Did you moan?" he asked, but there was something dangerous about the way he was so quiet, about the way in which all motion seemed to have disappeared from him. Not his usual self, no this was a stranger in his skin, a stranger which looked out from his eye and regarded her with only half-interest. Was this the creature that had been himself before she had incited him? No, no. There were many selves and this simply another facet of it. He didn't speak of her cowering, but it was blatantly obvious in the way he regarded her that she had once again failed. His nose dipped down to nudge the earth there, nostrils flaring against the rough, grating scent of stale sex. Snorting to clear his nasal passages, his tail ticked, muscles stony in their stillness. "I hope you are pleased."

Oh! So cruel Kotori! So unthinking and inconsiderate but he could not be other than what he was, and empathy had never been a thing he had ever understood. It required of a person to have experienced emotions similar, to feel passion when there was nothing but dust in his heart. His flame stuttered and turned to smoke. No anger, just ... nothing.

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word count;; 1039
tags;; Andarial
OOC;; lol

[Andarial]

She watched him turn his gaze from her and she felt the sting. Angrily she refused to let the tears come to surface. And as he asked the question, something that was so horrible and he did it so casually, she felt her temper flare and before she could stop herself she was silently following behind him and raising her paw. Should she do it? The thoughtdidn't even cross her mind as her claws unhitched and she brought it down in a furious swing across his tailbase. She may have been raped but that did not affect her enough to take away her temper especially not at this male who held no compassion. Anger and aggression reared their ugly heads again and she was once again Andarial.

"NO! I didn't! I fought him every step of the way and even though I hate him its not as much as I hate you right now!" Fury unlike any had seen within her shown inside those golden orbs. She wanted to steal his other eye from him. Wanted to so bad. "And yes I am pleased, because I've realized what an ass you really are! What a wolf you are!" She whispered the last word with disgust and spat upon him.

Wincing in pain as she turned away she moved her back upon him and began to walk away. Kotori, how could she have ever loved him? She glared angrily at the dirt and focused on walking as angrily as she could. Letting out a scream at him and in pain she leaped up the branch of a tree and watched the white form of the ass. Quietly fuming she began to lick her sides clean wincing at each lick as it rolled gravel and grit around and out of the cuts.

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

Thoughts were spilling into each other, one blending into another until there was nothing before his mind but a messy, streaked image full of motion that writhed and groaned and moaned; he didn't get angry, though perhaps he should have, but instead stared and stared, captivated by the image his mind was confuring, of herself writhing beneath yellow pelt, beneath dull eyes. Demon, brother, male, comrade -- he had given up his own prize in letting that brute do what he willed, but at the time, it had seemed to right, so perfect, and never had he imagined she would have let him. Perhaps he thought the brute had tact, but no, it seemed that the only way the other, the nameless one could act was to be the basest creature that he was, and in that wildness there was only brute force. Perhaps he had mistaken him, had thought him a creature of thought, not simply actions, but this proved him wrong. Still, still, his mind turned and turned, and slowly, ever so slowly, a smile, incredible, ugly, beautiful, sneering, curled his mouth where he was staring, staring staring. The brute had taken her, but had not won. No, not yet, not yet and with it, the competitive streak in the snow leopard reared up ---

-- up with the rest of his skin as her claws struck him, sliced through his flesh. He shuddered, sensitive from this mornings delectable activities. Muscles stretched and pulled, gaping open beneath her claws as if jumping to her touch and blossoming like a bloody flower. He groaned, a feral, gutteral sound that pulled out from his groin, his gut, his want and desire which flared through the numbness which had taken him -- eye slashed to the side as he looked at her, watched her hobble, watched her move and sneered. "Careful dear, I might want to have a taste too if you act so well. At least when I take a woman, I make sure she can't get up for pleasure." ugly, horrendous words that dripped from his mouth like vile poison, his sides crusted and dark, his back now bleeding, shallow slashes where her own claws had sliced him up. "Oh darling dearest, darling flame, darling heart of my own, I think you did moan, I think you moaned like a whore." and he began to walk toward her, taking in the disgusted look in her eyes, in the rigid anger which snapped taut her shoulders where she was licking her wounds, ears flat. "If you could act like that to me, but not fight off him, then you obviously did not fight enough." he stalked forward, one foot in front of the other, dainty but for the way in which he was staring at her, watching her, challenging her. Life, he thought, pushing the thought into her head, trying to get her to be herself. If he could prove the other had not broken her, then the bet would continue, then he would still be victorious over all. For hadn't he thought it once upon a time? No matter how many times the beast tore her down, he would be there to pick up the pieces and put them back together.

"Let me tell you something chicklet." he sneered. "I put him on your path, gave him your name to test you, to see how very strong you are." and the colors in his eyes seemed to flex as the disappointment swarmed upward over his flesh, dark, evil, terrible. He didn't want to hurt her, he wanted her to know, to know her own weakness. Such pride in someone who should not be proud. What was there to be proud of? That she could swipe a male that wouldn't hurt her even if she asked him to? What bravery! What cunning little kitten. No better than the smut she would breed with that semen curdling in her womb. Just thinking of it made him sick, for it was a sure sign of her failure. "You failed. You let him win, and now you dare to criticize me?" Tail lashed, a frighteningly fast motion, as a whip would slash against the ground.

In silence he followed her, hopped up onto the very rock in which she perched, the muscles in his face tightening, becoming thick grooves where anger rumbled over the curves of his fur. Fangs flashed, whiskers trembled, his orange eye burning, seething in this failure of her own. "You failed. Not me. You should ask for forgiveness, for I have not done anything to make you ashamed." his voice growled down low, pitched darkly as a snarl ripped out from his throat, claws flexed, raised up against her face. "Threaten me again, little kitten and we'll truly see how strong you pretend to be." Black claw, curved, pointed and sharp as blades, touched her face, ever so gently before sliding back into it's sheath, "But unlike you, I would never harm such a beautiful creature as yourself." and his ears flicked back in disgust.

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word count;; 848
tags;; Andarial
OOC;; oh dear god
he snapped

[Andarial]

Growling at him as he approached her tree she listened to his muttering hearing only the word whore out ofthe first speech. She grew angry just at that word. But then the next speech brought more anger than she thought her small frame could hold. She let out a screech of fury and leaped down upon supposed lover's huge form. Angry so angry that tears were rolling down her furry cheeks, Andarial lashed and slashed with her back claws and hung on tight with her front.

"I hate you, you selfish bastard!"

Neverhad she thought she would saythat to this wonderful creature she had gotten to know as Kotori. But she had been so blind. How dare he mess with her virginity and how dare he stake it on what must have been such game to him. Her teeth latched on his scruff and though she wanted she couldn't pierce his skin.

ooc: Powerplaying okayed

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

He wanted, but he had forgotten what he had wanted. He tasted, but he had forgotten what it was he tasted. He heard, but he had forgotten what he had heard. He knew, but he had forgotten what he had known. Such is the case when grief and disappointment takes hold of your head, turning your head away from what is and conjures up images of what might have been or even, a glimpse of the future that your heart would have wanted. He did want, but he could not remember past the fog of events what it was he wanted exactly. Had he truly wanted her? Her? This foul creature. Trash someone had once called her, and so she had become. Trash with pride, which was no pride at all, and nothing short of filth, a living corpse. His lips trembled, the shadows in his eyes flickering, growing, darkening, a toxic cycle of emotion that curdled the color there, diluted the bright flames which had shown so truly. Once, you could have fixed a compass by the strength of that fire. Now... now, now... well there was nothing there now. An emptiness that bordered on the insane, but she had always had the knack of provoking him, of making him want and even when she was nothing but filth, nothing but selfish greed and blind narciscism, he could not deny her this one victory.

Kotori didn't want her body, as you readers might be thinking. Oh no, he didn't want her ransacked goods - for what had once been clean and his own, was no longer so. Her virginity, her precious pearl was nothing to him, for he had never been after it, though the idea of her beneath him was something that drove him mad with lusts at night. He had wanted to see her strength, to grind his own against it to see who shone the brighter, but it had not panned out that way and viewing her over the brim of broken dreams, he could only see the kitten she was, the child who thought itself was an adult. Pathetic foolish girl. He sneered, an ugly twist of his lip as he turned from her, as his shoulders moved, though he scented her movement on the wind, though he could have, had he wanted to, dodge. But he didn't -- he didn't even react but to brace himself against the ground.

His back, peppered with cuts, with injuries of the morning, from the one she had given him recently stung him with her weight, slight though it was. Muscles shivered, bones creaked but he would not be taken down by her -- instead rage slithered through his guts, rising up over the insanity of his desire for the wolf, borne of that indignation of her death. It snuck through his lungs, pinched him tight where her claws dug into his back, piercing, biting, hurting him -- and he flashed an image of herself so meekly below the other, giving in, submitting to it when it spoke it's lies. Rage, nothing like she had ever seen of him suffused his face, twisting and contorting the face she had known so well -- a well of magma poured through his eyes, bloodshot, spikes of red brightening the flame there, pupils shrunk to slits, to a pinpoint as a trembling began in his paws, up the line of his body to his spine -- a fierce shaking of rage, of unbearable emotion that rose and rose and rose like a gigantic leviathan that he had hidden, that he had caged, that he had spared her but it would be not caged any longer.

Her claws were like spurs, goading him on, maddening him as frenzy came over his mind, intoxicating power coursing through his veins. "Get - off - me." he bit, his muscles flexing beneath her claws, his breathing hard, tail lashing like a creature possessed ---- the only true sign that he was losing himself to the madness. "Get. Your. Filth. Off. Me." and he roared -- for that's what it was.

But it was more than a roar, for such a puny four letter word could not possibly encompass the sound that erupted from his chest like rolling thunder, like death which had chained to it's chariot the screaming dead. There was so much in that sound, a growling wrath that licked up his legs, fed his heart with madness, his body shivering, dying, dying, dying, as his heart sped, his chest heaving as he forced himself to calm to no avail. It could not be stopped -- would not be stopped and the beast released itself, sliding under his skin, making him see red, taste red, hear red -- red everywhere, from the corners of his body, to the eyes which stared at him so fiercely.

He reared, a power motion as his body jolted backward, twisted as his fangs dug into her flesh, biting her teeth, savagely, craving her in his mouth, her blood to wet his face --- but he pulled back, forced herself off of him -- a strange mirrored motion of the one in which they had first met but he did not care. He forced her down, snarled deep in his throat as his eye blazed, an angry vengeful thing as his claws raked at her, determined to destroy what beauty remained of her. "What is wrong with you?!" his voice deeper, darker, angrier, full of disgust, of revulsion as he pitied her, hated her in that moment. "Fight bitch, fight! You would attack me, but you wouldn't attack him? Did you do it on purpose? Did you do to mess with my head? To see if I cared for you?" he sneered an ugly looking thing, like a scar twisting across his face . "Do you know how many nights I lay awake thinking of simply killing you? You drive me insane, but never, NEVER have I tried to take your precious smut, your precious sex, but at the barest you let him take it from you. Well? Snarl and yell but YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS AT FAULT."

He snarled then, jumping at her, so angry it was eating him up inside, a wick to the flame of his monstrous anger, to the thing that he had been hiding, this angry, stalking thing that consumed him, destroyed him. "Stop hitting me! Stop biting me! Stop clawing me! I'M NOT THE ONE WHO RAPED YOU. Do that to HIM! HIM! HIM!" and his claws flexed rising up as if he would tear her face apart and it was there in the creases of his face, in the trembling of his maw where saliva was starting to build, to exude, to drool down from the side. Breath eased from him as tightness seemed to coalesce from his very chest.

Then quiet though the anger was still there, heating his words though they were frighteningly quiet, "I can't believe you." and his claws raked deep grooves through the ground though he wanted her blood on his paws, her blood on his tongue like a second pulse. "You deserve to die."

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word count;; 1208
tags;; Andarial
OOC;; I don't know
what to say.... he's quickly
losing his sanity. She needs
to stop hitting him lol he's
going to get a complex XD

[Andarial]

She glared at him, staringstraight at his paw with her tearing eyes. She wanted it to hit her to rake her sight. Instead she bit into her own foreleg and with a ripping sound she tore a chunk a flesh so deep that the must glistened beneath the blood. She spat it at him and dared him with her eyes to hit her. She wanted to be hit and yet told she wasn't the one who had caused it. Instead she stood again and limped away again,leaving behind large splotches of blood. She looked back over her shoulder as she sat by the water and stared down at herself. She watched and waited. "Ever seem to think that I am already dead inside."

She gently placed her leg in the water and let the water mix with blood. She watched it with those golden eyes that were once again soulless. Tired eyes that once had been so full of life, that had glowed now stared back as if they had seens years of life. She looked over at Kotori and smiled but the smiled was empty and somewhat creepy. Her beautiful face rimmed in blood and forever changed by what she'd seen.

She heaved herselfup and paced toward him, "I no longer blame you Kotori. I blame him and myself. Somehow I should have died before meeting you. Somehow I should have attacked in the end and died in life before you could see me this way. I am sorry. If you will find a new leader perhaps I can still do as you wish."

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

--- and like hell unleashed she scored him deeper than she would have thought. Give up? That was the answer to her misplaced pride? To her lying, and her stupidity? She would just give up? Submit to him? No. NO! He would not have his game ruined because of some stupid form of female propriety. Get a grip on life, little girl, he wasn't going to let you do what you want. He'll be there to tear into your ear, to goad you into life simply by existing, but rubbing the heat of his flame to spark the coals of your dying embers. He growled, a rough sound that grated on his throat, made him see red at this obnoxious turn of events. Still trying to lead him in circles, pulling him this way and that, when he was really the one with the reins.

Hadn't he wanted to bring her down low? Hadn't he wanted to destroy her? Not yet! the devil in him cried out, agitation ripping through his pelt as it shivered, twitching under the immensity of her stare. So quiet, so awful, but in that stillness he saw a different part of himself he hadn't expected to see there -- a quiet resolution, watchful, old. Kotori felt so old sometimes, as if his soul had lived three times the length of his body, but he had never flagged under it. "No." he said before his brain caught up with him, voicing his feelings, his need for her to challenge him, to become the thing to which he measured himself. Let the jaguar ruin her? No, no, NO! He wouldn't have. Couldn't have it. Snarling silently, his muzzle rippled, curling back to reveal fangs, he began to pace, muscles shifting under his pelt, a constant, vivid motion under mud and blood caked fur. He couldn't leave it this way. No, no -- his mind kept spitting it up, like vomit, regurgitation of the same desire. Over and over and he couldn't think past it until he paused, looked at her and challenged, "Let's leave."

Bounding over toward her as if the injuries she had given him, the mutt had given him had ceased to exist. He moved as if he could run forever without stiffening and his eye shone brightly, strangely as the morning dragged on and on and on, changing the colors of his eye as he drew closer to her where she was giving up, doing the responsible thing and giving up the pack. But he had never been interested in the pack -- only in her, and only her. There was something there that he wanted, that his body had ached to be near. At first it had been the impression of Olya's ghost interposing itself on her face, but such had not been the case and the delusion had shred itself to pieces quickly enough. Then it had been her pride, her fire, a fire that had matched his own, vibrant, so brilliantly colored he could have warmed his flanks by it -- but it had been tempered by childish pride that she had not earned, and it wasn't such a surprise that it had been snuffed out by someone bigger and badder than she.

Yet the attraction was still there, for the flame was still there -- buries under soot, under the ashes of what she percieved to be her death. "Lets die together, you and I." and he smiled then, nothing tender or sweet, for Kotori had never been raised in such a fashion and those emotions were foreign and confusing to him, but there was an inviting curve of his mouth, a desire to do, to be free from the borders of this land. "Will you? Or do you still feel as if you owe t his pack your life?" and he circled her, unthreateningly, but then had he ever truly been a threat to her? Physically harmless, though he still hunted her soul, hunted her heart and had found much to his delightful surprise that the darkness that had invaded her heart was sweet indeed.

[/size]

word count;; 687
tags;; Andee
OOC;; hehe

[Andarial]

When he said no she did a retake, so ready to give herself up she was confused again as to why this leopard wanted her around. But then he suggested them dying together. That she would not have. She shook her head furiously, "As long as I live I owe my life to the pack and I will not have you dying with me. If I am to die I want you to live on and carry my soul with you. Aresouls are entertwined Kotori, for some reason we are with eachother against all odds, as long as you live so will I, if you wish." She smiled sadly but warmly.

Tiredly she stood and turned from him and stepped away her golden eyes shimmering as she thought of how to kill herself. Some way that would hurt little. She could drown herself. Or perhaps let that filthy jaguar take her life. She frowned and turned to Kotori. Suddenly feeling light headed and then a phantom kick from inside her stomach and she knew it was a premonition. How horrible she felt and yet how happy she felt at the same time.

Suddenly she looked at Kotori with warm and glowing eyes again. The life was in her again. Perhaps, if she was correct, more than one life was in her. "I think I will live. Perhaps I'll tell you why when I am sure."

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

What was this feeling? This rejection? It pierced him, scything through flesh as if to isolate the one thing he didn't have. In one moment his heart had come alive, had blazed fiercely in the depths of his eyes and made him smile, smile, smile as if the world was a beautiful place, a perfect place even if it was twisted under his burning, delusional eye. The next moment his heart had been skewered. Words -- he knew their power, toyed with them, used them to sharpen his wit against another's soul, another's heart to break them, break them down and hurt them as no claws could ever hurt them. But he had never known. No, Kotori had never truly known the hurt, had not understood the weakness that made words crumble what little will they had against him.

He had thought himself a monster, an unstable creature that slunk into your dreams and whispered corruption, broke down your strength and left you with nothing but ruin. That he was wrong never occurred to him, that he was unfeeling, that it was he who was the one that was different had never gotten past the fierce wall of arrogance. He had not cared to know, to learn, to even understand the pain he dealt with a careless word, with a smile, or a taunt from his eyes. No, he had not, but now he did. For sure, powerful, weak female, you will be the end of this beast, this monster that rolled under his skin and thought in different patterns than you would ever understand. But you did, you did, you broke him good, crushed what goodness you had planted in him. He had been kind to you, when his instincts had told him to fight you, to tear your soul away in the way he was used to. He was like Incubus, he was of the same make. He would have done it too, had he not known you, if he had not let himself see behind your eyes, seen the soul there. but he had, he had, and now he was breaking apart, his soul the withered, tattered thing it was, breaking down the middle, torn in twain and splintering off into different directions.

Pain, pain, so much fucking pain in those words. Gentle words, terrible, twisted words. There was kindness in her eyes -- had he ever seen such kindness in there? Was it weakness then, or another form of female trickery? He didn't know and Kotori found himself falling, falling into the hole of his doubt, into the abyss of his horror, his hurt, selfishness breaking away at the vulnerability that cut him to the quick. She rejected him. He had offered himself, had given himself to her in the only way he knew how, and instead she chose life, chose life when she would have killed herself on her own, when she would have preferred to die alone than beside him, than to be with him in death. Tension flickered along the line of his jaw, his eye burning, seeming to char where he was staring at her, seeing through her. A ghost of what he wanted, a delightful diversion that betrayed him. The hand that feeds, eh?

What had he been feeding? Pft, stupid cat. You liked her for her bite and now jump away when she does? Yet even I knew this type of hurt was different than the physical kind for it was the first emotional wound he had ever been dealt. So easy to deal with the familiar, but this new, fragile thing that had opened up and reached out to her had been spurned and it broke under it, so tender even acknowledging filled him with shame. What had he expected? Monster. Curr. Freak. Olya's oily voice purred deep in his ear, taunting him, laughing at him, goading him to righteous anger that snuffed out at the merest glance of Andarial's eyes.

"I ..." loss of words. His tools disappearing as his tongue let him down, as his body shifted to the side, shoulders rolling as if the weight of the world had settled back between the peaks of his shoulder blades. So much pain, this weight, this obsession of his. "If you're carrying his brats, hide them well, Andee." his voice soft, eye downcast, sliding away from her. So soft, no threat, nothing but emptiness, but he knew himself well, knew that the temptation of early flesh, of yearling flesh would make him crave in his bones the thing he had hidden from her. It didn't matter what she thought now. He would not leave.

He knew that the moment she rejected him. Was he too stubborn to give up? Or was it something else? He didn't know and Kotori was a little bit crazy right then. His mind was spinning, reeling from too much information. There was something in her eyes that frightened him, reminded him of things he didn't want to remember. Warm fur, hot tongue --- but Olya never touched him, never cared but for the sweet way in which she parted his flesh with her claws, her body ugly, twisted but seductive with each curve of her hips, of her tail arousing him. Kotori saw beauty in filth, and now saw the filth in Andarial's beauty. No sadness in his heart, or his eye, but the vibrant orange seemed to have dimmed, to have become a shadow sunk in his face as if the scars that tore his one missing eye would creep over and take over the other.

Kotori turned from her then, never realizing he had never called her Andee before.

word count;; 949
tags;; Andee
OOC;; >.< he cares,
he just doesn't know how to
show it.

[Andarial]

She curled her body under his chin around his legs and rubbed purring. She knew something she had said had stolen that beautiful burn of orange from his eye. Andee tried desperately to bring it back, apologizing in her way by purr-growling and nuzzling trying to show she still loved him. She was hungry for him to growl ather and attack her or make a crack about her to make her mad. She began to groom him, remembering back to the night whenshe had first met him. Back then it had been so simple. Like magic he had attracted her and they had stuck to each other since then.

But then he said those words and she jumped away from him, spitting and growling. Her claws were unsheathed and she glared at him with a look that said "don't fuck with me." Her growls were low and deep the kind that told someone not to mess with this cat. She snarled, "You touch them and, I'll hurt you so bad." Noticably she didn't say I'll kill you as she didn't think she could live life without Kotori. But she'd hurt him so bad that he wouldn't be able to walk.

Without realizing it she had told him exactly what she said she wouldn't. She had told him she was sure she was having cubs. But she would never allow any cat to hurt them. Her golden eyes were blazing enough to accompany for her eyes and his missing flame.

[' ' K.O.T.O.R.I.]

Her touch was unbearable to him, it was more than pain -- it was the metallic taste of old blood stuck at the roof of your mouth, it was hell, it was horrible, horrible desire. He despised it, this lashing burning heat which sparkled along his flesh where she touched him, purred, apologizing as she had never done before this. So this is what you wanted, he thinks, his mind distant, folding away from her, away from the clarity of her actions. Too close, but there was no panic, there was nothing but disgust, the revulsion that tinged his heart. She would touch him with another creature stamped on her flesh. Where was the pride? Where was the gleam of hatred that so ensnared him? Gone, gone, gone to this rolling female, this purring fiend which stole his heart with one breath and crushed it with the other. Would he ever rise again? Would he ever want to rise again?

Kotori, Kotori, Kotori, do not think such things! But he cannot help but feel it, to taste it like rot in his mouth, of decay squirming beneath his fur. He was nothing, nothing without the challenge, a hollow creature who had, despite himself, without even knowing it, changed, altered ever so slightly to make her his, to make of her a thing that all creatures would envy, but instead when he was busy grinding his will against hers, he was altering. Things in his body changed him, poisoned him into wanting her heart, into destroying it for he had known with a visceral knowledge that her path led in pain.

He was here, now, in that pain, knowing it like a familiar guilt slaying his heart. Her touch burned him, turned him away from her even as his words provoked her in the usual way. Kotori had not meant to sound so brutal, so savage, but it there was truth in it. No threat indeed, for though his voice was soft, and his eyes held no menace, there was ugly truth there. As ugly as her filth, her submission to a fate that she would lead on, uncaring of her debauchery. And so the girl becomes the woman, and the woman a whore.

The jaguar had named her rightly when he called her trash, but even now, held back from the dream he had carved from his own blood he could not see straight -- and instead found himself wanting her. Sweet pain, this, as he turned from her, as she snarled and railed and threatened him. He did not respond but to lift his cold, dead eyes, the fire snuffed from them, ears flicked down against his skull. He stared at her then, a terrible loneliness cracking open the stone that beat in his chest, the snarled knot of savagery that had been blunted by her honesty, her acceptance of this fate. She would birth those sons and daughters, would love the thing she ultimately feared.

"You would love them, wouldn't you?" no spark to make the taunt wretched, only silence, a chilling weight in which he watched her, judged her, hated her for this. She tore him open with her varying emotions, her moods and she would stand there looking at him, angry with him, him. Was she so blind? Such pain, such pain and it wracked him, a force that rattled the heart of stone in his chest as ribs shuddered, fur ruffled. Do not mistake it for threat dear lady -- no hackles rolled forward, just age. He was growing older with this weight on his shoulders, older, older, older, time seeming to weigh his soul down and drag it in his feet and what was the body without the soul but garbage? But trash? Would he soon match her then? Would she accept him then?

No. He would not torment himself so. Sadist he may be, but Kotori was no masochist to grind what was left of his heart against the splintered edges of her faulty emotions. "So." -- it had been the first word he had spoken to her this evening, and it would be a fitting last word, and it rolled over his tongue full of everything he was feeling: complication, hurt, disgust, hatred and even, even envy for she would love them despite it, would love a part of that jaguar while he, monstrous creature starved on the crumbs of hatred she sprinkled at his paws.

In the end, as in the beginning of all things, he was alone.

Help me decide if my fire will burn out
Before you can breathe.
Breathe into me --
I stand alone
Inside,
I stand alone.

word count;; 778
tags;; Andee
OOC;; I had to put
the last bit I stand alone
by Godsmack just fit him so
perfectly for this post.

[Andarial]

She stared hard at him as he asked his questionthen slowly her head looked the other way. She didn't know if should tell him the truth or not. She wasn't sure, truthfully. With that little bit of truth standing there would he take advantage of that and kill her cubs whether she loved them or not or would he simply let her choose. She nervously paced one way then that. Then she began to clean herself, nerves taking to effect totally and making her feel unclean(which she was) and prickly. Slowly she came to her chest and stopped her golden eyes glowing once again. She would trust him fully, put the fate of her cubs in his paws and see what he thought she should do. What he thought would be best for her.

"I am going to tell you the truth. I don't know if I'll love them or not. What should I do? What is best for me?" she turned to him with concerned eyes, nervous and anxious to hear his answer. She looked so lost and scared. Never before had she felt this way, except perhaps that night Incubus had come across her alone and thin. Small and weak enough that he would be able to take her.

She looked at Kotori with absolute trust shining in her great golden orbs. Though who knew how long it would last. Her personality just wasn't trusting. Naturally she would look out gfor herself, not let some other cat (no matter if she loved him or not) hold her life in his paws. She waited forhis answer expectantly. Waiting like a perfect statue ready to pounce on anything he might say.